exactly

we've hit the brick wall
of my heart
turn around
unless you wish to be
a stepping stone

i am in love
with an idea
and yours
is different
or not exactly the same

get it together

It's 11:30am before I finally wake from my broken sleep. I realize it's Saturday and my trip to the beach, which I had been contemplating, would have to wait for another day.

I roll out of bed and peek through the blinds, curious to see who's talking outside. The voices are coming from next door. It looks like a nice day out there. I get slightly annoyed at myself for missing out on the morning.

"you needed the rest" I tell myself.

I roll the remains of a joint from last night's ashtray into a cigarette, and smoke it while waiting for the coffee pot to fill. This has become a familiar pattern. No wonder I'm sleeping late. That and moving twice in 5 weeks. Pretty soon I'm going to get it together.

3 days

i just had a hundred ideas
which came and went

did you get one?

3 days of alone time
but she keeps leaving messages
while i suffocate
under a blanket of sand
and dirt

i breathe smoke
and drink fire water
to exist

she lives in a fantasy

who doesn't?

her sweetness stings me
like a fire i want to run from
but which appears in all directions

burn me beyond recognition

i feel the heat
creeping up the stairs
down the hall
ravaging
like hordes of invaders
intent on destroying everything

only to give rise
to rebirth
like the sun
casting it's warm glow
on newly painted walls

the fresh scent
a symbol of this new day

this new life

rejuvenate me

downtown browntown

the east ward bus
carries us
to find a fuss

downtown browntown

brings your mates
it's not too late
to save your fate

downtown browntown

you'll find yourself
sitting on a shelf
revive your health

downtown browntown

finish your coke
and get your coat
we'll have a smoke

downtown browntown

on your bike
or take a hike
i'm glad you like

downtown browntown

downtown browntown

downtown browntown

downtown brown
town

melting pot

the city is unfamiliar, yet it feels like home. i wonder if it's because many of the people here are also strangers or foreigners like me.

as the train makes it way through the dark tunnels connecting one station to the other, i observe some of these strangers as they sit with only the sound of their own thoughts, the screeching and clattering of metal tracks below us, and the intermittent announcement of which station we will shortly be arriving at.

it's hard to tell at a glance who is from here, who is new here, and who is simply passing through. sometimes it's more obvious. i mean, the young couple speaking spanish and taking snapshots are obviously visitors; the east indian family, their suitcases and shoulder bags still tagged with the three letter code DEL, might also be visitors, but they look more as if they just moved here or perhaps are already settled, and just returning from a trip home. there's another girl with a camera, standing in the aisle, taking random shots that a typical tourist might not see, let alone be interested in. the girl sitting oposite has an eastern european look about her, but it's impossible to say whether it was her or a previous generation of her family who moved here.

this place is a melting pot.

in the cards

i'm drinking straight gin, as if it's tea, from a small cup with a handle that you might imagine in the hands of an english woman sitting on a pavilion at an afternoon game of cricket in Colonial India. Sat in the shade of course, because only mad dogs and English MEN go out in that midday sun.

i hear the sound of drums, like a heartbeat coming from somewhere within this inner city apartment building. at last I am beginning to see signs of life. voices and the sound of traffic from outside remind me that the suburban life in old browntown is becoming a past memory.change always brings with it the fear of the unknown. fear and excitement are the same thing. yes, you read a book about that once.

and so it seems, change is once again in the cards.